Looking Back

We ask for deliverance from something, we are thankful for the deliverance, but then as we walk through the hard parts of actually being delivered, the flesh begins to cry out in opposition. We start drifting backwards in our spirits to that place that was familiar, instead of walking obediently towards where God wants to take us.

I know this has been true with our family’s finances. We prayed for deliverance from debt and God began to show us a way out. Yet as we have walked through what it has taken to be debt-free, I have often caught myself looking back at when I used to charge things freely, with no thought as to how we would pay for it. Oh, how nice that was to just be able to go buy something without having to scrounge and save, I find myself thinking. I don't want to look backwards or give into the comforts my flesh craves. I want to push forward, straining for the prize God has for me. I want to seek Him with all my heart – no matter where that takes me. I want to live in that sometimes uncomfortable place of walking in total obedience. When the rain comes pouring down, I want to choose to dance in the puddles instead of longing for the shelter of past sunny days.

“But our fathers refused to obey him. Instead, they rejected him and in their hearts turned back to Egypt.”
Acts 7:39 (NIV)