Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Positive Parenting

My boss has a son who is a JR in HS and is starting the whole college process. My boss has taken him to some testing facility to see what he would be good at, he has been looking at all of these college books, trying to find the best college for his skill set, etc. All of this has gotten me thinking about how my parents handled my college experience.

My parents were very strict with me on most things, something I truly appreciate now that I am an adult. But college was a different story. For some reason, I knew that college was not really an option, but just something you did after high school, although my parents never actually told me that. When I was in HS, I started the whole college process, applying to schools, taking the SAT, etc. My parents never put pressure on me, I never took a prep course, and they didn't hound me to finish my applications. I was never stressed about college, not once, and I think it is because my parents did not stress about it. I think children feed off of their parent's stress without even realizing it (poor SD). When I had chosen a school, my mom took me to go visit. The visit was so much fun and it felt like I was there with a friend, not my mom. She just went along with it, didn't get nosy and intrusive when we met with the advisor, she didn't try and find out the "right" dorm for me to be in, or get worried about where I would park and how close my classes would be to each other. She didn't even suggest majors or fields at all.

Now that I am a parent, there are definitely things that I choose to do differently than my parents and things that I do the same. Our children's minister always says that a parent's job is to get their child ready to leave the nest. I think my parent's mastered this (sometimes they might think they too good of a job with me on this). They have always let me make my mistakes and were there to catch me when I fell, but didn't say "I told you so." They let me follow my heart and make my own decisions, even when they knew it was the wrong one. I will be forever grateful to them for this and I hope and pray that I will be able to do the same for SD and Linus.


Tessie said...

Yeah, I basically TOLD my parents I was moving to Texas and going to Baylor. SEE YA.

It is so WEIRD to me that parents are STILL micromanaging at 18 and beyond. I guess I'm not at that point yet and so can't say how I will feel, but I'm pretty confident I'll be able to CHILL. (BR, we should worry). Heh.

Becca in Texas said...

Well since I applied for and got all the loans on my own. Visited the campus by myself in my car, signed up for classes with no help from anyone. And lived three years at school before a parent sent me money, I would say no one was micromanaging me. But as you are aware, maybe someone should have been =)

I hope I can find a balance with the boys between throwing them out to flounder on their own and hoovering overhead all the time.