So we are supposed to get together for February and March B-days this weekend with BG's family. I have known that we are going to BG's brother's house for this event, but just found out the time yesterday. Let me give you a little history, all of BG's family lives near us (now that we moved) and so most of the time (about 99%) we do stuff near us, which is nice and convenient (one of the reasons we moved). BG's brother lives on the other side of town, about a 45 minute drive, so it is not nearly as convenient to do stuff over there, granted, they always have to come over here, but as BG says, it is not our fault they live over there, they had a choice of where they live. So, that is strike one against this event, we have to drive. Strike 2, my SIL scheduled it smack dab in the middle of SD's nap. I don't think that she did this on purpose, but if you know her, she is kind of focused on self. I have always felt like we schedule everything around her boys' schedules (they are involved in a bajillion sports and half the time don't even come to family events, they missed a Christmas get together for a basketball game, but don't get me started). I was trying to just go with it and not get my panties in a wad, but it really frustrated me. I have never really had ground to say anything before, because I didn't really have a valid reason. So, I asked BG what he thought and he said it was up to me, how much of an issue I wanted to make it. So, my decision.....
I sent her an email asking if we could move it back an hour or so. I am more than willing to move SD's nap up a little earlier so that we can make it over there, but it would really help for it to be moved back a little. I think I am compromising, at least a little. Part of me wanted to be a total "B" and dig my heels in and say either we are not coming or we will be late (we are supposed to bring the appetizer, so that would be an even bigger pickle!). Anyway, am I way off base here? I am trying to be the bigger person, but I also want her to realize that it is not all about her or her boys, but the family as a whole. I asked BG's sister what she thought (we have similar opinions about her) and she said as long as I was compromising (moving SD's nap) that I wasn't being a total "B," but if she was inflexible, I should lay it on THICK!
***Update*** Another reason to keep SD on schedule, she was pretty much up all night last night, I think jacking with her schedule so much is messing up her sleep patterns!!
5 comments:
I think you also need to think about whether or not this has anything to do with the time or whether or not is just that you have issues with your SIL. Remember that you don't want her to think it is all about her and its not. But BD's other family memebers would like to see you and enjoy SD so if you don't go it is hurting all of them.
I completely sympathize because I have the same exact issues with my SIL. But I have learned that I have to always always be the bigger person. Because she never will.
Part of it is the time, part of it is her. I agree that it is about the rest of the family as well, but no one is going to enjoy SD if she doesn't get some sort of nap!
This is a beating. Will she sleep in the car? Could you put her down at their house? I know, fat chance.
Hope SD is feeling okay! Is she sick or teething or something?
Won't sleep in the car, at least not well. Doubt I can put her down there, plus it kind of defeats the purpose. It does suck! I am not sure if she is sick, I think she might have an ear infection, but I am not sure. I am calling the DR. today!
That's a tough situation. If it was anything else I'd say just don't go, but since it's the birthday get together...I don't think you were wrong in asking to move it up an hour. I mean things are usually scheduled around her boys, it wouldn't kill her to think about somebody else's needs for once.
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