Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Addiction Recovery

They say the first step to overcoming an addiction is to admit it, so here I go. I am addicted to lists. I make lists for everything. I have pads of paper all over my house with various lists on them. I add things to my list, just so I can cross them off, it gives me a rush! While on maternity leave, I even made a list of projects I wanted to get done while I am home, never mind that I have a two year old and a newborn. I don't even have to write my lists down, I even keep some filed away in my head, there is always a running list.

The next step, overcoming my addiction. I am trying to stop making physical lists. I can't really stop the ever growing list in my head, but at least I can try and stop the cycle of writing them down. I will probably have to return to making them once I get back to work, so I can keep everything straight. Why you ask am I doing this? Well, they stress me out. I look at them and see all that I have not accomplished and get worked into a tizzy. I am trying really hard to be a source of peace for my family and I can't do this if I am stressed out. Like I said, I still have my mental list and I try and work through a couple of things on that list as time allows. But I am really trying to just take things as the come and do stuff as it pops into my head. So, can you help keep me accountable? Ask me when the last time I made a list was when you talk to me or email me. Don't ask about my grocery list because really I have to have one of those! Anyway, this is one of my steps into letting go of my OCD and Type-A personality and trying to live in the moment, even when that moment is a whiny toddler and a screaming newborn! God wants me to enjoy every minute, not just the rosy ones!


RDC CCC Mom said...

I noticed that my list making subsided after having 2 kids. I still make them, and often say I need a secretary to keep up with all the paperwork involved with the boys health care! I have adopted the "if I can't remember it needs to be done, then it's not that important" attitude/perspective! It helps me relax, but can get me into trouble!
I inherited my list making from my Dad, so I figure it's in the genes and thus can justify my Type A/OCD tendancies!!! :)

P.S. I also find that I let CCC cry post nap/pre feeding much more than I did with RDC so that I can get that list thing crossed off! Bad mommy Bad!!!

Anonymous said...

I can so relate to this blog. I, too, am a list person, Type A, & of course, an OCD neat freak...it helps in the business, though. :) I love to make lists & then have the satisfaction of crossing off, but have found that I actually stress myself out looking at all the non-crossed off items yet to do. I have cut back on list making & it's helped tremendously. Good luck with it!!
-Kim Smith